Mean Moms 

We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. 

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. 

She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. 

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things other kids did. 

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms anymore. 


"May I see my baby?" the happy new mother asked. When the little bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of clothes to look upon the tiny face, she gasped. The doctor turned away quickly to avoid seeing the mother's expression of heartache. The baby had been born without ears. 

Time proved that the boy's hearing was perfect, it was only his appearance that was marred. When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heart-breaks. He cried out the tragedy. "A boy, a big boy, called me.. .a freak:" 

He grew up, handsome except for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president but... for that. He developed poetic gifts, a talent for literature and music. "But you must mingle with other young people," his mother reproved him, and felt a tightness in her own heart. 

The boy's father paid a visit to the family physician. Could nothing be done? "I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured," the doctor decided. Whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man. 

Two years went by. Then: "You are going to the hospital, son. Mother and I have found someone. But it's a secret," said the father. 

The operation was brilliantly successful and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became an unbroken series of triumph. Later he married and entered into the diplomatic service. 

"But I must know:" he urged his father and his father responded "you are not to know...yet." 

The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come... one of the darkest days that ever a son passed through. He stood with his father, bowed over his mother's casket. 

Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick reddish brown hair, to reveal...that the mother had no outer ears. 

"Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut," he whispered gently. "And nobody ever thought Mother less beautiful, did they?"