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Teaching individual worth
The Difference Between Divine Nature & Individual Worth:
I think one thing that's important is to explain the
difference between Individual Worth and Divine Nature. That's something we just
had to do because the girls were so confused about it. I brought two sisters up
and explained that they came from the same parents, therefore they both share
the same genes and have some of the same characteristics of their parents. It's
nothing they have control over, they inherit those genes as they are born. They
may have their mom's nose, their dad's funny big toe, or their mother's sense of
humor, etc. We talked about this for a minute and explained their
Divine Nature.
For Individual Worth I talked about how these sisters
shared the same genes, but each had their own individual talents and abilities.
They were completely different from each other, in every sense of the word.
That's what our individual worth is about. We are all daughters of our Father
in Heaven and have inherited His divine qualities, but we each have our own
individual things that set us each apart.
INDIVIDUAL WORTH - Come in dressed like a bag lady or
tramp. Introduce
yourself as Willma Wothless and that you are here to tell them how worthless
they are!! Show them a game that you play on the streets with your friends. You
take something you stole that is pretty like a glass bell and throw it around,
be careful not to hit anyone!! Eventually it will break, if not tell them that
it's more fun when it breaks all over the place. Say, 'that was fun huh?' now
lets play another fun game we play on the streets. Everyone give me your
jewelry (Collect everyones jewelry in a paper bag telling them how fun this game
is going to be the whole time you are gathering) Then when it's
all gathered say thanks!! You girls are so generous and run out of the room,
like you just got away with the biggest scam. Come back in and say, "let me
start over, Introduce yourself with your real name, then say,"I am a child of
God and I am of great worth, each and everyone of you are a child of God and are
of great worth too. All the Wilma Worthless also have great worth!"
(Handout - Give each girl a penny to stick in their shoe. Tell them that even
though this penny isn't worth much, that you want them to deep this penny in
their shoe this week to remind them that they are of much worth. They are not
to take it out of their shoe until they have completed a new goal in their PP
books.)
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up
a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, who would like this $20 bill? Hands
started going up. He said, I am going to give this to one of you, but first, let
me do this. He proceeded to crumple the bill up. He then asked, who still wants
it? Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, what if I do this? He
dropped it on the ground, and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. Now, who still wants it? Still hands
went into the air. My friends, you all have learned a very valuable lesson. No
matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it, because, it did not
decrease in value. It was still worth 20 dollars. Many times in our lives, we
are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the
circumstances that come our way. We feel that we are worthless.
But, no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your
value, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to
those who love you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do, or who we
know, but by who we are. You are special. Don't ever forget it!!
Another money
analogy I heard a few years ago. A speaker held up a $100 bill and a $1 bill.
He said, "If I threw both on the ground, which one would people try to grab?".
Of course, the $100 bill. He said that the essence of the two bills were the
same - the ink was the same, the paper/cloth it was made on was the same. The
decoration was a bit different, but the counterfeit protections were the same.
The bills were the same height, length & width.
The only difference was the value that the government gave the bill.
My analogy - The
Lord doesn't make us exactly alike, but the essence of us is still the same.
The difference usually is the value we put on each other. For example, if you
ride horses in one town, you are a cool person and in another a "hick". It's
important that we label each other as "Million" dollar people. You could even
use the funny money as a handout - except don't try to use it at WalMart.
One of my favorite
easy activities on individual worth is to sit in a circle give everyone a
cookie. You take your cookie and break it in half. Turn to the next person and
say something nice about them (it should be sincere). Give the other person
half of the cookie. In the end, everyone has a full cookie.
Take one cookie. Break off a small piece and say something about someone
who bugged you today. Pass the cookie around, with each person doing the same.
By the end, everyone has a crummy little piece that everyone has had their hands
on.
Love gets larger as it goes around and everyone gets more when they share.
Hate is ugly and destructive.
If you can get hold of a June 1995 Ensign check out the
article
"Our Divinely Based Worth" by Barbara Day Lockhart. It is a great
article about worth being something that you have and don't have to earn. I
used it to teach the YW about individual worth.
I had a class at BYU with Dr. Lockhart where most of the class could not accept
this concept. We spent the better part of a week discussing it and still most
of the students felt that they had to "do" something to have worth.
She has also developed a "Worth Index" that allows a person to see where they
feel their worth comes from. My YW enjoyed doing the index and learning
more about themselves. I am working on getting a copy for others to use!
Our value for May was Individual Worth. I combined several ideas from the list
plus a couple of my own for this activity.
First, we did the "Caring Cans" activity. This is where each girl and leader
gets a #10 can to decorate for someone else. This took the most work. Our
President's husband works at a hospital and he had the food services at the
hospital save cans for us. I washed the cans. Then I figured out a list of who
each person would give to. This was the hardest part. I wanted the girls to
each give to someone other than their best friends. On the
Sunday before our activity, I had the cans for each class in a large garbage
bag. Each can had a letter of explanation and the name of the giver and the
recipient attached to it. I gave the bags of cans to the class presidents and
they handed them out at the end of YW. Also, I had a couple of sample cans made
to give the girls some ideas. The Presidency took the cans around to the girls
and leaders who were not there on Sunday.
For the activity:
We used the Primary room. I made a paper for each girl with her name on it, the
value statement for Individual Worth and a cute clip art. These were printed on
bright paper. We taped them around the room. As the girls came in we handed
each of them a pencil and had them autograph the papers of all the girls. We
had a banquet table for all the cans to be placed on.
After everyone came, we started our activity with the story of the Carpenters
Tools Conference. We had a "grandmother" who all the girls love do the story.
She was so funny. She made up a different voice for each tool. The girls loved
it.
Then I talked about how all of us are important and unique in Heavenly Father's
kingdom. We each have an important mission to fulfill. If we look for the good
in others it will help us all to build up the kingdom. Then we all sat on the
floor in a circle (leaders too). I had a big ball of yarn. I said that we were
all going to think of something nice to say about someone else in the circle
then throw the ball to them. The only rule was that
you had to pick someone who wasn't your best friend. This was so nice. It
seemed like the girls with more self-confidence were so good about picking some
of the shy or troubled girls. The only problem with this activity was that
someone had to be the last one picked. But luckily it was most of the leaders
who were chosen last.
After all the girls were connected in a web of yarn, I talked to the girls about
the destructiveness of evil speaking and gossip. We talked about how good we
felt when someone said something nice about us. Then we talked about how
hurtful gossip is and I started to cut strands of the yarn. I talked to them
about how even one girl can ruin the unity of the entire ward by saying mean
things.
Then we had our YW President read the book "You Are
Special" by Max Lucado. If you haven't seen this book look for it at your local
bookstore. It is published by Crossway Books. It is not an LDS book, but has a
very profound message about the labels that others give us. It's message is
that God does not give us labels and our only real sense of our worth comes as
we develop a relationship with him. The book is a child's picture book and
takes under 10 minutes to read.
Then we let the girls hand out their cans. The cans were so cute. Each one was
so different and this reinforced our idea of appreciating other's differences.
We only had 2 girls out of 50 who didn't come through and bring a can. As a
Presidency, we had made extras in case of an emergency. If I did this again,
though, I would have someone checking off the cans as they come in so you would
know ahead of time who won't have one. Then you could get their name on the
extra cans and they would never know that their person didn't make one for them.
For refreshments, we had different kinds of popcorn. The girls finished
autographing while they ate their popcorn. Each girl put their autographed list
in their can and took them home. The cans will stay on their front porch for a
month. Then we can all leave goodies for each other. Now I just hope they
follow through and no one feels left out because they don't get much in their
can.
I had many girls tell me how much they liked this activity. It was a lot of
work for me but I feel like every minute of the preparation was worth it.
We had a personal
hygiene/beauty night at mutual this week. One of the speakers did a great job
at stressing that beauty comes from within each one of us. That we glow on the
outside because of the beauty of self confidence on the inside. She also based
some of her
thoughts from Elder Fausts remarks in this last Young Womens Mtg. The
Virtues of Righteous Daughters of God. You could relate that to the fairy tale
princesses and stress that beauty comes from within. We are all princesses born
of royal birthright and a prophet of the Lord just gave us the below formula on
how we can be irresistible.
"These
are challenging times. I believe your spirits may have been reserved for these
latter days; that you, like Esther, have come to earth "for such a time as
this." It may be that your most significant, everlasting achievements will be
your righteous influence on others, that your divine feminine inner beauty and
intuition will find expression in your quiet strength, gentleness, dignity,
charm, graciousness, creativity, sensitivity, radiance, and
spirituality. Enhance these sublime feminine gifts. They will make you
appealing and even irresistible as you serve others as the handmaidens of God."
Who Do You Think You Are?
President James E. Faust
I salute you young people as chosen, special spirits who have been reserved to
come forth in this generation. You are beginning the struggle to discover who
you are and to find your place in life. You have new, strong feelings. You have
great challenges. I hope you are beginning to achieve and excel in some special
way. Perhaps it is your smile, your personality, or your ability to lift others.
Perhaps you are discovering your talent as an athlete, scholar, computer
specialist, musician, builder, artist, or in a hundred different areas. This
might give you some personal recognition. These accomplishments may cause you to
think about who you really are.
Dr. Fred Riley, a prominent social worker, has treated many athletes who
identify themselves as athletes rather than as children of God. He relates:
"What happens when they can't play basketball? Their identity is shot" (Quoted
in Sarah Jane Weaver, "Developing a Healthy Self-Regard," Church News, 10 Feb.
1996, 2). Their self-worth is related to their physical skills rather than their
character. Many who achieve world-class
recognition may not like themselves. Some of the rich and famous, even though
they have great talent and ability, are insecure and succumb to drugs, alcohol,
or immorality, and their lives become shattered. Instead of being happy with who
they are, they become dissatisfied and discontent. They measure their self-worth
solely in terms of their talent and accomplishments instead of who they really
are inside. It is not always true that the more you achieve, the happier you
will be or that you will like yourself more.
As sons and daughters of God, we are obligated to develop as many of our
divinely given talents as we can. All of us should work to achieve worthwhile
objectives. We should learn skills and get an education. You will be happier if
you know who you are and feel good about yourself.
So who do you think you are? Who you think you are and who you really are can be
two different versions of yourself. From an eternal perspective, these two
versions need to come together. God knows you and what you can become because He
has known you from the beginning when you were His spirit sons and daughters.
What you become will depend in large measure upon how you follow righteous
principles and do good works.
You may ask, "How do I learn to like myself?" I suggest five ideas that may be
helpful.
1. Change bad behavior.
We need to change our bad behavior. We need to repent. As Alma said to his son
Corianton, "Wickedness never was happiness" (Alma 41: 10). It's hard to like
ourselves if we are doing things that we know to be wrong. Most of you have been
taught about good behavior by your parents and youth leaders. You also have the
scriptures and the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth to guide you.
In your quest to define yourselves, do not get caught up in comparisons with
role models or body types that may seem to be macho or chic but in reality are
not becoming to you as sons and daughters of our loving Heavenly Father. One
17-year-old girl became so obsessed about her figure that she began to skip
meals and ended up with an eating disorder. When it became apparent to her
father, he insisted that she eat a substantial meal. This confrontation
ultimately brought her to her senses, and she wrote:
"All my life I had done things for everyone else. The grades, the manners, the
awards--everything for them, nothing for me. This eating thing, this losing
weight had become mine. It represented me and my choices, and now my dad was
trying to take that away from me, too!
"As I lay in bed that night crying and feeling fat, I knew I needed help. I knew
I was hurting people I loved.
"After staying up all night, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't my dad I
hated. I hated ME! I realized that I wasn't in control. For the first time in my
life, I understood that this was my problem. I needed to take control of my
life--not let the disease control it.
"Things didn't change overnight. In fact, it was one long road to recovery. But
slowly, with the help of friends and family, I began to heal. Now that I'm at my
ideal weight, I have stopped weighing myself altogether. I no longer peruse
fashion magazines, either--I may not be 'in style,' but I feel just right!"
(Gabriella Tortes, " 'Gabby, You're Sooo Skinny,' " in Chicken Soup for the
Teenage Soul: 101 Stories of Life, Love and Learning,
comp. Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Kimberly Kirberger [1997], 234-35).
Feeling "just right" about ourselves contributes to our happiness and our sense
of identity.
As we change our bad behavior and turn to the Lord, we qualify for the
companionship of the Holy Ghost, which has a profound effect upon our
well-being. This great gift comes through righteous living, obedience to the
commandments of God, and service to others. Parley P. Pratt had this insight
concerning the gift of the Holy Ghost:
"It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands and
purifies all the natural passions and affections. . . . It inspires virtue,
kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness and charity. . . . It invigorates all
the faculties of the physical and intellectual man" (Key to the Science of
Theology, 9th ed. [1965], 101).
2. Forgive ourselves and others.
Forgiveness is an important part of putting bad behavior behind us. As we make
the necessary changes, we need to forgive ourselves. But we may also need to
forgive others who have been traveling with us on the wrong path. Forgiveness
will help us to let go of the bad behavior we are forsaking. The Book of Mormon
tells us how we can know that we have made the turn from bad to good. After King
Benjamin had delivered his masterful discourse about Christ, the Nephites all
cried with one voice:
"The Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent . . . has wrought a mighty change in us, or
in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good
continually. . . .
"And it is the faith which we have had on the things which our king has spoken
unto us that has brought us to this great knowledge, whereby we do rejoice with
such exceedingly great joy" (Mosiah 5:2, 4).
Feeling joy and peace, we will know who we are and act accordingly.
3. Gain confidence by making good choices.
You are now beginning to make important choices. Choices have consequences. In
some measure these choices will affect not only the rest of your life but all
eternity. Remember, my young friends, fame and fortune do not necessarily mean
happiness. It is far better to have confidence in yourself and to be comfortable
in your own skin. This depends upon your ability to choose what is right. It is
also important to be able to excel in some field.
Last summer, the Olympic Games were held in Sydney, Australia. Certain rules and
disciplines were attached to the various Olympic events: runners and swimmers
had to stay in their lanes, shot-putters had to stay within the circle marked on
the playing field, wrestlers had to stay on the mat-- or the athletes would be
disqualified. In addition, the use of performance- enhancing drugs was
forbidden.
One young man from Denver, Colorado, who won an Olympic silver medal later was
awarded the gold because the gold-medalist in his event was disqualified for
using a banned steroid. In his response, he referred to his unfortunate
competitor's loss of the medal:
"I do feel sorry for him. But we all have choices. . . . He made his choice, and
I made my choice. . . .
"I believe God was watching out for me. I believe he watches out for all of us.
I've learned so many lessons from how this has taken place. I experienced the
agony of defeat before the thrill of victory. That made me so much more of a
stronger person, mentally and spiritually" (Brandon Slay, quoted in "U.S.
Wrestler Savors Gold, Even Though It Came Late," Deseret News, 24 Oct. 2000,
D3).
We grow and develop by making good choices. Confidence comes as we decide to
pray daily, attend sacrament meetings, keep the Word of Wisdom, obey our parents
and priesthood leaders, read the scriptures, and control our bodily appetites.
4. Give service.
If we really want to feel better about ourselves, we should do deeds of
kindness. Kindness shapes our character and makes us more like our Father in
Heaven. The Savior taught us, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself" (Matt.
22:39). As we demonstrate our love for others, in turn we will understand better
the love our Savior has for each of us and that we are children of a loving
Heavenly Father. Occasionally we should look for
public service opportunities. Indeed, as a prominent psychiatrist once wrote:
"We feel pleasure when we are involved with other people, and they are involved
with us, but we feel pain when we are uninvolved and lonely. The path to an
acceptable identity in any society is involvement" (Quoted in The Teachings of
Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1996], 477). Great satisfaction can come
in helping the poor, the sick, the elderly, or others who have special needs.
Look around you; there are all kinds of
opportunities.
5. Choose happiness.
The most fundamental of all human searches is for happiness. We each choose our
own happiness. As President Harold B. Lee once said: "Happiness does not depend
on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you. It is measured
by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life" ("A Sure Trumpet Sound:
Quotations from President Lee," Ensign, Feb. 1974, 78). It will often be
necessary for all of us to choose between having a good time and leading a good
life.
Each of us is born with natural "happiness" hormones. When stimulated, they
secrete powerful chemical substances into our bodies. There are many kinds. Some
are called endorphins. Generally when we are in pain or distress, endorphins
give us a sense of well-being. Medical science has long known that our mental
outlook and well-being affect our physical health. A sign in a large hospital
says, "Laughter is the best medicine." Smiling is good for the soul.
Smiling brings a glow to our countenances that radiates to others. Being
friendly to our neighbors, to people at school, at church, or at work is a great
way to show the Lord that we want to keep the covenant we made at baptism "to
bear one another's burdens, that they may be light" (Mosiah 18:8). I recommend
friendliness because so many people are shy or lonely and need a kind word or
smile. Lifting others expands our inner selves. It
is also the way of the Master (See Luke 6:31). Like Anna in The King and I, I
find whistling "a happy tune" and singing (especially when I am alone!) can also
lighten my spirits.
Many years ago my father told us about going for a walk through the woods with
an old friend, Judge Bringhurst. The judge sang so loudly along the way that he
frightened all the wildlife. But my father said he enjoyed the judge's singing
so much that he didn't mind not seeing any animals or birds. So when we laugh,
smile, sing, whistle, or exercise, we seem to feel better. We either forget our
concerns or they are put in better perspective. As we reach out to others, our
happiness hormones are stimulated and we find our true selves.
I recall a study some years ago that was made to determine what influences keep
young people moving on the straight and narrow track. Of course there were
several critical influences. All were important. They included the influence of
parents, priesthood advisers, Young Women advisers, Scoutmasters, and peer
association. But I was surprised to find that one golden thread of singular
importance ran through this study. It was the belief that one day each of us
would have to account for our actions to the
Lord. Many believed that "the keeper of the gate is the Holy One of Israel; and
he employeth no servant there; and there is none other way save it be by the
gate; for he cannot be deceived, for the Lord God is his name" (2 Ne. 9:41).
Those who had an eternal perspective had an extra amount of spiritual strength
and resolve. Feeling a personal accountability to the Savior for our actions and
stewardships and responding to it provide a profound spiritual protection.
Ralph Waldo Emerson gave a yardstick by which to measure our personal success.
He wrote:
What is success?
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded
(Quoted in Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, 248).
So who do you think you are? The Prophet Joseph Smith said, "If men do not
comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves" (History of
the Church, 6:303). Knowing who you are--who you really are—is closely tied to
knowing God, for you are His children. Following the simple suggestions I have
outlined will help you know God and hence yourself. I believe in you, that you
will be obedient and valiant and that you will receive the blessings of the Lord
in your quest to establish your identity
as His choice sons and daughters.
(James E. Faust, From the New Era, Mar. 2001, 4-9)
"His Image in your Countenance" (Slide Presentation)
With no apparent beauty that man should Him desire, picture
of Christ He was the promised Savior to purify with fire. (Picture of Christ
coming in clouds)
The world despised His plainness, but those who followed Him Found love and
light and purity; a beauty from within. (picture of disciples with Christ)
(chorus)
Have you received His image in your countenance? (closeup of His eyes)
Does the Light of Christ shine in your eyes? (closeup of YW
eyes)
Will He know you when He comes again
Because you will be like Him? (closeup of YW eyes)
When He sees you will the Father know His child? (closeup
of YW eyes)
We seek for light and learning as followers of
Christ (picture of YW studying scriptures)
That all may see His goodness reflected in our lives.
(picture of YW doing service)
When we receive His fullness and lose desire for sin,
(picture of YW in front of temple)
We radiate His perfect love, a beauty from within.
(picture of Christ)
(repeat chorus)
The ways of man may tempt us and some will be deceived,
(picture of bright lights like Vegas)
Preferring worldly beauty, forgetting truth received.
(picture of inappropriate clothing)
But whisp'rings of the Spirit remind us once again,
(picture of YW in prayer)
That lasting beauty, pure and clear, must come from deep
within. (picture of YW)
(repeat chorus)
By His everlasting image in your eyes? (picture of YW by
statue of Christ)
(likeChristus)
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