LDS Funnies and Stories

ZION’S MEMBER SERVICES

ZION'S MEMBER SERVICES Home teaching getting you down? We care when you don't have time to. Can't get that annoying Priesthood Leader off your back? Home Teaching interfering with your TV and Golf ? We can help!At Zion's Member Service, we'll do your Home Teaching for you. For a small monetary fee, We will send...

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The Girl in a Whirl

The Girl in a Whirl By “Dr. Sue” aka Vickie Gunther   Look at me, look at me, look at me now!You could do what I do if you only knew how.I study the scriptures one hour each day;I bake, I upholster, I scrub, and I pray.I always keep all the commandments completely;I speak to...

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Mormon Dr Seuss

Mormon Dr Seuss The Mormon Church and Brother LurchI am Lurch.I am Lurch.From the Church.That Brother Lurch!That Brother Lurch!I do not like that Brother Lurch!Do you like the Mormon Church?I do not like the Mormon Church.I do not like it Brother Lurch.Would you read the Book of MormonHere or there?I would not read itHere or...

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J. Golden Kimball Missionary Story

J. Golden Kimball Missionary Story  The Rev. Charles A. Weatherbee was a popular Baptist minister who went throughout the Deep South spreading lies about the Mormons.Golden encountered him as a young elder in Memphis, Tennessee. He and his companion were walking down the street, and coming from the other direction was Rev. Weatherbee. Golden nudged...

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Introducing Celestial Barbie

Introducing Celestial Barbie   Celestial Barbie comes with 8.4 children. She wears a mid-calf flower print Laura Ashley dress with conservative flats (no heels), a bow in her hot-rollered hair with puffy bangs.Barbie wears a permanent smile, knows how to bake bread, store wheat, feed a family of 12 on less than $20 a week,...

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What if the Book of Mormon had been written by Dr. Seuss?

"What if the Book of Mormon had been written by Dr. Seuss?"Author: Unknown   Nephi: Of goodly parents I was born I've never drunk, I've never sworn This is Lehi, he's my dad Laman, Lemuel, they are bad And who is this? Why this is Sam Yes, this is Sam; Sam: Sam I am Laman:...

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Families are like jelly beans

Families are like jelly beans Each one uniquely colored, Some are red, some pink, some green And some are even spotted! Each one's flavor is all its own Some tart, some sweet, some sweeter, Some get scooped up right away And some get saved for later. But although each one's different And some favored over...

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