Thoughts and Quotes on Marriage
My husband and I recently finished a book called Covenant Hearts by Bruce C. Hafen. It took Elder Hafen 10 years to write and was truly magnificent! For any marriage, struggling or not, it will feed the flame that got that couple together in the first place as it describes principles, statistics and stories about the family that make you want to cling to one another. We bought our copy at Deseret Book and HIGHLY recommend it!
Temple marriage is fundamentally appealing, it is scientifically sound, and any young man who takes his sweetheart to a Temple should go there with the understanding that their union is to be just as eternal as the love that has brought them to the altar. Young men and young women who would live the happiest lives would do well to prepare themselves to be worthy of that form of marriage that God has ordained — the union of a man and woman worth to have their marriage performed in the Temple of the Most High. There, as true lovers, to pledge their truth, each may cherish the assurance of the following:
First — That their married course begins in purity. The children who come to bless the union are guaranteed a royal birth as far as inheriting a clean body is concerned.
Second — That their religious views are the came. The difficulty of rearing children properly is aggravated when father and mother have divergent view regarding doctrine and Church affiliation. (This is another great advantage of seminaries, Mutual Improvement Associations, and Sunday Schools — you meet those of your own faith.)
Third — That their vows are made with the idea of eternal union, not to be broken by petty misunderstandings and difficulties.
Fourth — That a covenant made in God’s presence and sealed by the Holy Priesthood is more binding than any other bond.
Fifth — That a marriage thus commenced is as eternal as love, the divinest attribute of the human soul.
Sixth — That the family unit will remain unbroken through out eternity.
Youth of the Church, God bless you to keep your lives unpolluted, that you may go in prayer to God and ask him to guide you in choosing your mates, and when chosen, that you will both so live that you can enter the House of God. Thus, if He were present and asked you about your lives, you could answer Him honestly, “Yes, we are clean.”
A marriage begun on that basis will bring you the happiness, the sweetest joy know in this life or throughout eternity.
-David O. Mckay
Preserving Your Marriage
1 Focus on changing SELF, not your spouse!
2 Hold regular companionship “State of the Union” meetings.
3 Treat your spouse with the same Respect you would a stranger.
4 Invest in you spouse – Serve her(him)!
5 Share the Heat! – (Weight of responsibility)
6 Take the time to BUILD A COMMON WORLD.
7 Jump start communication by encouraging your spouse to talk. ACTIVELY LISTEN!
8 Visit FANTASY LAND, but don’t stay there.
9 DO NOT replace your spouse with friends.
10 Watch for MARITAL DYSLEXIA — continue to see positive!
The single most important thing you will ever do in this life is to marry the right person in the right place, at the right time, by the right authority.
-Bruce R. McConkie
The path that leads to happiness is so narrow that two cannot walk on it until they become
one for eternity
Only through celestial marriage can one find the straight way, the narrow path. Eternal life cannot be had in any other way. The Lord was very specific and very definite in the matter of marriage.
-President Spencer W. Kimball
A Sacred Date
I have a special, sacred date,
To meet someone within this gate,
To take his hand and climb the stair
And with him, every blessing share.
Dear, loving Father, help me now,
To keep this date, someday, somehow.
Let nothing I may do today
Deprive me of this joy, I pray.
-Carol H. Wood
I guess I’ve spent a lot of time lately
Watching for you.
I know that if and when you come along,
You’ll be the tall, dynamic type
Whose priesthood draws worthy friends to you
And makes ambition clear
And testimony strong.
A man who will protect and comfort me as a woman
But still not stifle my groping and desires as a thinking
(And somewhat independent) individual.
But, just now, I realized
That in watching for you
I have somewhat neglected the possibility
That you, from some obscure distance
Are watching for me, too.
I wonder with no small degree of uneasiness-
Have I come into your sight at an off-hand moment,
Not being all you thought I’d be?
I know that as you watch
You’ll be expecting a patient and desirable woman,
Capable and eager to raise your children;
Someone to love you when the rest of the world doesn’t
To smile when hope cannot be found.
To support you as you make your way to the top,
And I know you’ll want me to listen
To your dreams and plans
For our eternal future.
Oh, how I want to be the woman
You’re watching for!
Pardon me, if for awhile, I stop watching for you.
I have a little rearranging to do
To make myself presentable when you come.
Little Things Mean A lot
Blow me a kiss from across the room,
Say I look nice when I’m not,
Touch my hair as you pass my chair;
Little things mean a lot.
Kneel with me at the side of the bed
Call me at six on the dot
A line a day when you’re far away
Little things mean a lot.
Don’t have to buy me diamonds and pearls
Caviar, sables or such
I never cared much for diamond and pearls
‘Cause honestly, honey, they cost too much.
Give me your hand when I’ve lost my way
Give me your shoulder to cry on,
Whether the day is bright or is gray
Give me your heart to rely on!
Give me the warmth of a secret smile
To show me you haven’t forgot
That always and ever, now and forever
Little things mean a lot.
CONSIDERATIONS IN CHOOSING A MARRIAGE PARTNER
- Are you good friends with the person you desire to marry?
2. How do your interests, goals, expectations, and basic values compare? How about occupations, parents, friends, Church callings, educational pursuits, and leisure-time activities?
3. What do you feel should be the top priority in your life: Family, Church, business? Can you communicate honestly and deeply with your potential spouse? Have you both learned to express feelings, ideas, an suggestions without giving or taking offense? Have you learned how to resolve misunderstanding and differences of opinion?
4. Have you gone together long enough to see each other in a variety of social settings? Do you like each other’s friends? Has your relationship improved over the course of time?
5. Have you associated with each other’s family enough to know them and the background of your potential partner? How does your potential spouse treat family members? Are you willing to accept the other’s family? The background?
6. How can or will your parents enhance your marriage? Are there any potential in-law problems? Are you ready to be independent of parents and “cleave unto” your spouse?
7. Have you both obtained adequate training and skills for financial stability in marriage? How will the money be managed? Have you both learned how to prepare a budget? Who will pay the bills? Keep the checkbook? Do you have similar expectations for the use of credit cards, charge accounts, savings, debt, the acquisition of material possessions?
8. Are there serious religious differences between you? Even though you both may be Latter-Day Saints, are you equally committed to the gospel? Is each worth and prepared for temple marriage? Will you be willing to support one another in Church assignments?
9. To what degree are you committed to tithing and other financial offerings in the Church?
10. After marriage are either or both of you going to seek additional occupational training or education? Have adequate financial plans been made for this possibility?
11. Will the wife attend or complete college? Does either or you plan for her to work outside the home after marriage? after children are born?
12. Have you discussed having children? How many do you want and when? What kind of parent will your potential spouse be? How will you work together in teaching and disciplining the children?
13. Are you both knowledgeable about keeping an orderly home and yard? What do you consider to be the man’s role? the woman’s role? the combined role?
I WANT TO BE WOMAN
I want to be a woman… your woman. I want to be attractive to stand tall and straight to look clean and neat, pretty and sweet, so that you can take pleasure in looking at me and pride in being with me.
I want to be kind and gentle and patient so as to listen to you heart’s troubles and to understand. I want to be wise and good and serene so that I can help you when things get sot of mixed up.
I want to be weak enough to cry on your shoulder and to have you boss me now and then—and feminine enough to have you do things for me like carrying something heavy, or opening a jar, or even the door.
But I also want to be strong enough to bear your children and to rear them strong and healthy. I want to be full of fun and laughter, and gaiety so that we can always be filled with warmth and hope, not dull and dingy.
I want to do little things that please you, like cooking something special or keeping the house fresh and neat or even bring your favorite slippers after supper or just being quiet and holding hands and sitting close to you when you’re out of sorts at the end of a hard day.
I want to know about the things you know about in politics and business and money matters so that we can talk together and share ideas so that our minds can form some kind of union. But I never want to know quite as much as you, and I want to share your other interest in spots, reading, gardening, or whatever you want to do. And I want to be apart of your dreams, and help them become reality.
Because I want to be with you during these moments is perhaps the reason why most of all I want to share a common faith with you, so that we can worship God together and take, not send, our children to Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting and always have Christ’s presence in out home with us. We bless out meals whether hash or sirloin, and bless and guide every phase of our married life.
And finally, I want to be warm and soft and tender and affectionate and responsive, so that you will desire me.
This my Dear, is the woman I hope to become, no, the woman I shall become for you.
One night I stood outside the temple gates
And waited for the friends who were inside.
I waited quite a time,
And in those moments, I saw and pondered many things.
I looked upon the solid stately walls
Which separate Temple Square and set it from the world apart.
Then upward to the lighted spires
And upward until my eyes rested upon the grandest
Pinnacle, atop which stands that glorious likeness
Of the Angel Moroni.
Above, the sky was black in contrast,
Filled with glimmering stars.
Upon the street were many a hurried footstep.
Couples, arms entwined, or holding hands,
Walking forth in eagerness, faces alight with purpose,
To enter, and be welcomed through the gate.
Groups of every age, hurrying, intent on the joyous task at hand
Poured through the gate.
A bride carrying a bouffant wedding dress.
Careful lest it be crushed, made he exit from those doors;
The realization of her dreams written upon her face.
Her husband beside her,
Their parents close at hand.
Young and old, I thought, here are the faithful.
Then I saw my own dear friends approach,
Faces alight with the inspiration they had felt within
Those walls, of the worthwhile accomplished,
Buoyed up and generated by covenants renewed,
Eyes shining from the burning of the Spirit within.
Out of the heavy doors they came, down the path
To the outside worked, carrying an essence of heaven with them.
I was alone.
I alone had waited outside that night.
With he waiting, the seeing, the feeling, came a clear
Realization of how my own choice had placed me there.
Of hoe, those years ago, I thought that love
Could win the desires of my heart and soul, without doubt.
Now only God could know the yearning of my soul.
My love of husband ever stronger now.
And with three children ours to love and guide,
I knew the truth;: True love cannot be fulfilled
That does not encompass the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Oh, then, to dinner with the friends for whom I’d waited,
To sit about the table and hear their conversation,
Feel the strength they had derived from their loving service
For the dead.
See the emotion and almost into he souls of the
Family who had been sealed that very day.
Onward, then, with new resolve and courage I must go.
Twelve years had passed since my wedding day,
Years of hope, faith, love, learning, and a vast multitude
Of lives’ experiences.
And yet how long the journey and how steep the pathway
I did not know.
Onward, then, with tools of love and understand
To strive, and earn with faith unwavering and deed to
Supplement that faith, to qualify, with theta one I love,
For eternal life.
Years have passed, and still hope lives.
If I could leave one message for my children,
It would be this:
Never make a choice in life that leaves you
Waiting outside the house of God.
For if you do, it may be you will find yourself and those you love
Outside throughout eternity.
I leave my testimony with you that nothing, nothing in this world
Could compensate for the loss of this,
The greatest of all blessings.
-Improvement Era 1960